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[help
she seems a little surprised, enough that it shuts her up for a second. it does not stop her thoughts, which are along the lines of something like it's not you, i'm always sad which is kind of lame and pathetic, but. it's true!]
... Alright. [and then flounders, because she has a 9 in charisma]
she seems a little surprised, enough that it shuts her up for a second. it does not stop her thoughts, which are along the lines of something like it's not you, i'm always sad which is kind of lame and pathetic, but. it's true!]
... Alright. [and then flounders, because she has a 9 in charisma]
[i'm crying the -3s are abundant here
she wrinkles her nose a little, but.]
I'm not... gloomy. [nyeh] ... The idea that there is something inside me that is changing me makes me uncomfortable. I can't seem to escape it. I'd be surprised if you didn't intuit that.
[she trusts he's brilliant enough that he can read between the lines even if he doesn't want to.]
she wrinkles her nose a little, but.]
I'm not... gloomy. [nyeh] ... The idea that there is something inside me that is changing me makes me uncomfortable. I can't seem to escape it. I'd be surprised if you didn't intuit that.
[she trusts he's brilliant enough that he can read between the lines even if he doesn't want to.]
[absolutely he hits the nail on the head. that's where the anger comes again, something ferocious and cruel, something that wants justice. and she swallows it down. puts it away. back into the box it goes, where it belongs.]
... Yes. [a pause, and then:] Sorry.
[she doesn't want him to see that part of her, really.]
... Yes. [a pause, and then:] Sorry.
[she doesn't want him to see that part of her, really.]
[it is exactly the same as the first time he felt the strong emotion from her - the way in which, once it reaches him, it never manifests completely. instead, it stalls in its strength before disappearing completely. as if there is something preventing the full emotion from making contact.
he closes his eyes against it, as if processing for a moment. then he looks to her]
... why do you apologize to me?
he closes his eyes against it, as if processing for a moment. then he looks to her]
... why do you apologize to me?
I won't make you tolerate more of me than you need to.
[she's not entirely sure what to make of the way he adblocks her strong emotion - but even if she did, she's not wildly into making people experience what she considers the worst parts of herself. or at the very least, the nastiest parts, even if she considers them necessary.]
[she's not entirely sure what to make of the way he adblocks her strong emotion - but even if she did, she's not wildly into making people experience what she considers the worst parts of herself. or at the very least, the nastiest parts, even if she considers them necessary.]
[oh.
there's a little pinprick of emotion from scien first this time - it's still slightly oddly processed. literally none of his feelings are normal. but there is a slight bit of surprise, coupled with almost being impressed. to a degree, he likes when people understand his unwillingness to engage too deeply.]
Hm...
You're right that I don't particularly care to navigate through people's emotions. Most of them have nothing to do with me.
there's a little pinprick of emotion from scien first this time - it's still slightly oddly processed. literally none of his feelings are normal. but there is a slight bit of surprise, coupled with almost being impressed. to a degree, he likes when people understand his unwillingness to engage too deeply.]
Hm...
You're right that I don't particularly care to navigate through people's emotions. Most of them have nothing to do with me.
[and then through the connection - so small that scien seems to miss it, a subconscious feeling that escapes his notice: fondness.
his expression softens, just a fraction.]
... but I'm still seated.
[he can and will leave at any moment. he's choosing not to.]
What I felt through you... I wouldn't call it bad by any definition.
his expression softens, just a fraction.]
... but I'm still seated.
[he can and will leave at any moment. he's choosing not to.]
What I felt through you... I wouldn't call it bad by any definition.
[oh... soft.
throné by default is a somber person, and this week has been something already - she's had a few people notice that she's sad, and she never knows how to tell them that it's persistent. that achy, deep hurt just lives in her chest, in her throat, around her neck. but for her, it's like any chronic pain. you learn how to live with it, as best you can. and eventually it stops registering. she's been surprised each time someone points it out.
and for someone like scien, who she's assigned as someone who prefers to keep things at a distance, through the glass, the way she keeps people at a physical arm's length - she'd been content in respecting his boundaries. especially now that she felt that horrible, grinding pain from earlier.
she's silent for a moment, just watching him. fondness, huh. even just a little bit. and then:]
... It's necessary, but one day, I'd like to not feel it. [that anger.] Thank you.
throné by default is a somber person, and this week has been something already - she's had a few people notice that she's sad, and she never knows how to tell them that it's persistent. that achy, deep hurt just lives in her chest, in her throat, around her neck. but for her, it's like any chronic pain. you learn how to live with it, as best you can. and eventually it stops registering. she's been surprised each time someone points it out.
and for someone like scien, who she's assigned as someone who prefers to keep things at a distance, through the glass, the way she keeps people at a physical arm's length - she'd been content in respecting his boundaries. especially now that she felt that horrible, grinding pain from earlier.
she's silent for a moment, just watching him. fondness, huh. even just a little bit. and then:]
... It's necessary, but one day, I'd like to not feel it. [that anger.] Thank you.
I'd say that the world needs to stop being a hellhole first. Probably by force.
[after all, it's not like she signed up for either of these situations - definitely not this second one. scien thinks that if those emotions are useful for anything, it's that drive to keep pushing against the chains that bind you.
it's something that he's had to look at more clearly late; how what he discarded still has its uses.]
There's nothing to thank me for, and nothing to apologize to me for.
Be as you are. I'd like to see your success.
[after all, it's not like she signed up for either of these situations - definitely not this second one. scien thinks that if those emotions are useful for anything, it's that drive to keep pushing against the chains that bind you.
it's something that he's had to look at more clearly late; how what he discarded still has its uses.]
There's nothing to thank me for, and nothing to apologize to me for.
Be as you are. I'd like to see your success.
[a snort of amusement at the world being a hellhole. fair! fair enough. agreed.
she smiles at him anyway, even though he tells her what he does. it's hard not to. i'd like to see your success feels enough like some measure of hope that she can't help it. if she can hold on, the dawn is coming, and she's looking forward to it.]
You will. [she says, firmly.] I will not stop until I'm free, or dead.
she smiles at him anyway, even though he tells her what he does. it's hard not to. i'd like to see your success feels enough like some measure of hope that she can't help it. if she can hold on, the dawn is coming, and she's looking forward to it.]
You will. [she says, firmly.] I will not stop until I'm free, or dead.
[i assigned aki dead all week and then was like no fuck when i was correct
anyway i don't even know how to start this, i guess throné is looking for him. the emotion is real bad, real sick, but she thinks that even so, even with the way she knows scien and dahut feel things - it can't be anything in the face of what he must be going through.]
anyway i don't even know how to start this, i guess throné is looking for him. the emotion is real bad, real sick, but she thinks that even so, even with the way she knows scien and dahut feel things - it can't be anything in the face of what he must be going through.]
[I'M GONNA KILL HIMMMMMM AND PIXIIIII WHAT ABOUT MY LUKE/THRONE
anyway you ever see what a stupidass man looks like without his assistant well about to find out
scien is even more disheveled than usual, clothes a mess, hair out of its braid and just poorly managed, and his expression is - pinched. his emotions are terribly processed as always - but there's so many more of them now, coming from a man who feels nothing at all. bewilderment. frustration. and then this churning, grinding feeling of an anger that builds and builds and builds—before it stops. disappears. and then starts the process all fucking over again, always running. rage on repeat.
he's in the observation room though, looking at the door that locked them in earlier. when she approaches he'll glance over to her and his face doesn't give away any of what he was feeling. but.]
Find anything?
anyway you ever see what a stupidass man looks like without his assistant well about to find out
scien is even more disheveled than usual, clothes a mess, hair out of its braid and just poorly managed, and his expression is - pinched. his emotions are terribly processed as always - but there's so many more of them now, coming from a man who feels nothing at all. bewilderment. frustration. and then this churning, grinding feeling of an anger that builds and builds and builds—before it stops. disappears. and then starts the process all fucking over again, always running. rage on repeat.
he's in the observation room though, looking at the door that locked them in earlier. when she approaches he'll glance over to her and his face doesn't give away any of what he was feeling. but.]
Find anything?
[pixi said no hets don't even THINK about hets]
... No. Doors are locked.
[she says, swallowing hard. there's a second where she just kind of takes in the way he looks, the emotional loop, and anything she's feeling shuts down and gets shelved. she moves closer, and holds out a hand.]
Let me fix your hair. [let her fix anything. she's a little shellshocked.]
... No. Doors are locked.
[she says, swallowing hard. there's a second where she just kind of takes in the way he looks, the emotional loop, and anything she's feeling shuts down and gets shelved. she moves closer, and holds out a hand.]
Let me fix your hair. [let her fix anything. she's a little shellshocked.]
[there is a long, long moment where he doesn't say anything, only staring at her hand.
but then so, so briefly that it can be easy to miss: the briefest glimmer of heartache. of someone who he expects to be here, but isn't.
he moves to walk past her. but only to a couch, where he sits. to make it easier for her. he says nothing, but hopefully the action is enough.]
but then so, so briefly that it can be easy to miss: the briefest glimmer of heartache. of someone who he expects to be here, but isn't.
he moves to walk past her. but only to a couch, where he sits. to make it easier for her. he says nothing, but hopefully the action is enough.]
[yeah. she understands that. for more reasons than one, but. she understands.
he goes to the couch, and she follows him. carefully, she sits down next to him, and shifts just enough so she has the space to braid his hair for him. her hands are slender and gentle and efficient as she starts to separate the pieces.]
... I will help you figure out what happened.
he goes to the couch, and she follows him. carefully, she sits down next to him, and shifts just enough so she has the space to braid his hair for him. her hands are slender and gentle and efficient as she starts to separate the pieces.]
... I will help you figure out what happened.
[on the one hand, scien thinks that this is what he's owed. if something has been taken from him, then he should be able to get answers.
it's just that he doesn't expect anyone to help him, despite all his bossing around. if people are intimidated into cooperation with him, that's fine. if they're doing so out of pity, that's still fine as long as they get somewhere.
but since help is being offered, and he has the option to accept or decline...]
Name what you want in exchange.
it's just that he doesn't expect anyone to help him, despite all his bossing around. if people are intimidated into cooperation with him, that's fine. if they're doing so out of pity, that's still fine as long as they get somewhere.
but since help is being offered, and he has the option to accept or decline...]
Name what you want in exchange.
I don't want anything.
[she says, not looking at him.]
I liked him. He was very sweet to me, and I won't allow him to fade away without answers. This investigation is for my benefit - if you'd like help, I'm offering it, but I'll be doing it either way.
[she says, not looking at him.]
I liked him. He was very sweet to me, and I won't allow him to fade away without answers. This investigation is for my benefit - if you'd like help, I'm offering it, but I'll be doing it either way.
Cooperation would be simpler.
[especially from someone that scien thinks has two braincells to rub together. he's already without his assistant, which puts him at an inconvenience here.
. . . . ]
He would be happy.
To hear that you cared for him without strings attached.
[especially from someone that scien thinks has two braincells to rub together. he's already without his assistant, which puts him at an inconvenience here.
. . . . ]
He would be happy.
To hear that you cared for him without strings attached.
I can't speak any further for him in that regard.
[the first comment was made simply because that's not the environment that scien and dahut are from. when you're at the top of the institute, everyone is either trying to use you as a way to bring themselves up - or to take you down.]
... both of us were and are probably going to die upon return to our home world. I told him that makes any connections we make here fairly useless to us.
He told me, in his usual annoying way, that the acting of making them still means something. I don't know if that will bring you comfort but...
Your time with him did mean something.
[the first comment was made simply because that's not the environment that scien and dahut are from. when you're at the top of the institute, everyone is either trying to use you as a way to bring themselves up - or to take you down.]
... both of us were and are probably going to die upon return to our home world. I told him that makes any connections we make here fairly useless to us.
He told me, in his usual annoying way, that the acting of making them still means something. I don't know if that will bring you comfort but...
Your time with him did mean something.
[she finishes his hair, and ties it in place.]
It does. [she says, still soft.] It does mean something. Especially for those of us who only have one life to live.
There isn't much point to being alive if you don't enjoy the things that life gives you.
It does. [she says, still soft.] It does mean something. Especially for those of us who only have one life to live.
There isn't much point to being alive if you don't enjoy the things that life gives you.
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