[dana — Today at 6:27 PM also handwave but scien will make dahut wash diluc's coat that he borrowed on thursday me just telling you ikedaya — Today at 6:27 PM WLEMAOKFESOFESK HELP dahut just like :ben:
anyway scien wasn't paying attention to anyone's roommates and will not pretend otherwise.]
Thank Dahut.
[he'll take a seat by diluc] This probably isn't the way you wanted to reunite.
On the contrary, I feel like there's still much to learn about you.
[ but he doesn't mind sharing. AFTER MEMSHARE WEEK AND DYING IT'S JUST SO WHATEVER NOW. ]
...When I turned eighteen, my father died under mysterious circumstances. I was met with betrayal by the ones I trusted most, and spent the next three years restlessly searching for answers.
[he pauses, considering the question. he tilts his head.]
... mine are likely different in nature. My emotions don't rule me. Everything I've done, there's a logical reason for my choices.
[ . . . ]
But I can find a few instances in which my logic overruled my willingness to listen. And so lives were lost when they did not have to be, which is against my principles.
[scien listens thoughtfully, because for better or worse, he's somehow come to respect and acknowledge diluc's thoughts on things.]
What fear do you still hold?
[it's... curious to him.
scien hasn't been afraid of anything in a very, very long time. but there is also nothing in this life that he cherishes so much that he would hate to lose it. he thinks the two are related.]
Many are tied to my regrets. The fear of repeating the same mistakes. The fear of being powerless.
[ dwell too long, and you find yourself walking in a circle. ]
But in a way, all emotions are tied together. [ voicing what scien is thinking. ] It isn't always easy to unravel one from another. The same could be said for memories.
[ . . . hm. he can see how these are tied to those memories that diluc holds, and he nods.
also omo this is so fucking funny considering the fuckery of the cyoa he goes on later damn]
I do believe that the main components of a person are their personality and their memories, and how the two intertwine with one another.
... but I've also been forced lately to re-examine the importance of those emotions, and how they can be vital to a person. I didn't have particularly strong feelings even before becoming a Reliver... so I find it curious.
[ TRULY TAKEN OUT BY THE TIMING OF CYOA HELP ME!!!!!!! ]
Even before, huh... Has your re-examination helped you? Or is it for someone else's sake.
[ or perhaps both. ]
...If there's anything else you'd like to ask, go ahead.
[ diluc isn't really one to talk about his Feelings, but since scien is so clinical in his approach he finds he doesn't really mind. but also if dana would like to wrap up the thread we can always have them talk more later (SHAKES IN RETURNS) ]
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scien brings over his coat that he borrowed on thursday, freshly laundered and clean of rust. he'll just offer it back to him]
This must be tough on you. Wasn't that your bar brawl buddy?
[based on what he heard from gregor]
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We lived together for a month.
[ that's his good friend and roommie... ]
...Thank you.
[ he takes the jacket back with an appreciative nod, since scien went out of his way to clean it. (or made someone else do it, idk.) ]
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also handwave but scien will make dahut wash diluc's coat that he borrowed
on thursday
me just telling you
ikedaya — Today at 6:27 PM
WLEMAOKFESOFESK HELP
dahut just like :ben:
anyway scien wasn't paying attention to anyone's roommates and will not pretend otherwise.]
Thank Dahut.
[he'll take a seat by diluc] This probably isn't the way you wanted to reunite.
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[ he gives scien a look that's just like "of course you did that"
and then he sighs and shakes his head. ]
It isn't ideal, no. But we rarely have much choice in this place.
[ sometimes... you get killed... and sometimes... you get possessed to kill... ]
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... I was just talking to Dahut the other day about how you're one of the few emotionally balanced people on board this ship.
[and this is reminding him of that]
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he huff softly. ]
I wasn't always this way.
[ scien missed genshin lore week... good for him, good for him ]
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Then what made you this way?
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Experience. Or mistakes. However you'd like to put it.
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he makes an open handed gesture for Diluc to continue]
I believe you know too much about me, and myself not enough about you.
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On the contrary, I feel like there's still much to learn about you.
[ but he doesn't mind sharing. AFTER MEMSHARE WEEK AND DYING IT'S JUST SO WHATEVER NOW. ]
...When I turned eighteen, my father died under mysterious circumstances. I was met with betrayal by the ones I trusted most, and spent the next three years restlessly searching for answers.
The mess you see now is a reminder of that time.
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Mess?
[does he mean his rust or himself in general]
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[ diluc does not think he's a mess, personally. ]
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maybe it's this]
Why would you call that experience a mistake?
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I'd lost control of my emotions. I hurt someone I cared for, and nearly got myself killed.
[ so yeah... big mistaké ]
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[that make you do some truly wild shit]
Do you still possess regrets?
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It's difficult not to. [ he's just a mortal man... ] I just try not to let them hold me back, or add to them while I'm at it.
[ easier said than done.
he gives scien a curious look. ]
And yourself?
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[he pauses, considering the question. he tilts his head.]
... mine are likely different in nature. My emotions don't rule me. Everything I've done, there's a logical reason for my choices.
[ . . . ]
But I can find a few instances in which my logic overruled my willingness to listen. And so lives were lost when they did not have to be, which is against my principles.
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You've mentioned it before. I'm almost envious.
[ to not be so susceptible to anger and sentiment. ]
...I'm sorry to hear that. But it seems your resolve hasn't wavered for it.
[ sometimes the lessons you learn are terrible ones, but they do fuel you forward. ]
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If I wavered or hesitated, would that not be more insulting to the lives already lost?
[but he frowns]
You're the first to suggest that experiencing less emotion might be even slightly enviable.
[he knows diluc doesn't quite buy in, but it's still distinct after everyone telling scien that emotions are soooooo important]
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[ he agrees with that assessment. ...a pause, before he smiles wryly again. ]
I'll take it as a good sign the others haven't driven themselves mad with grief.
[ and if scien will indulge his thoughts a bit longer, he'll continue on a more serious note. ]
...It isn't just the dramatic outbursts, but the quieter things too. Some fears will persist, no matter how well you can rationalize the situation.
A healthy amount is necessary for survival. But that can be a fickle line, easily crossed. [ having emotions is exhausting, actually. ]
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What fear do you still hold?
[it's... curious to him.
scien hasn't been afraid of anything in a very, very long time. but there is also nothing in this life that he cherishes so much that he would hate to lose it. he thinks the two are related.]
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[ dwell too long, and you find yourself walking in a circle. ]
But in a way, all emotions are tied together. [ voicing what scien is thinking. ] It isn't always easy to unravel one from another. The same could be said for memories.
[ maybe an analogy scien can relate to better. ]
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also omo this is so fucking funny considering the fuckery of the cyoa he goes on later damn]
I do believe that the main components of a person are their personality and their memories, and how the two intertwine with one another.
... but I've also been forced lately to re-examine the importance of those emotions, and how they can be vital to a person. I didn't have particularly strong feelings even before becoming a Reliver... so I find it curious.
no subject
Even before, huh... Has your re-examination helped you? Or is it for someone else's sake.
[ or perhaps both. ]
...If there's anything else you'd like to ask, go ahead.
[ diluc isn't really one to talk about his Feelings, but since scien is so clinical in his approach he finds he doesn't really mind. but also if dana would like to wrap up the thread we can always have them talk more later (SHAKES IN RETURNS) ]