That experience... it is not reflective of each and every moment in Arpéchéle... but I am also not surprised to see those types of things happen within its borders.
Would you rather I look away? I don't feel the need to.
[ though, it's easier said than done when he feels like his sanity is constantly fraying with each inexplicable episode. he pauses again, momentarily trapped in another recollection. ]
I do not suffer. But what hardship I experience is earned.
[scien is the first person to call himself evil, after all. every negative trait he knows he has as a fact, and then some
as for why he seeks to help... his answer takes a moment to come. maybe normally he'd be a bit more guarded. straightforward, but not quite so... sentimental.
but there is an emptiness in his chest that normally isn't there]
... you are a good man. Even in the ways you aren't, I find you worthwhile.
[ FORGETS TO RESPOND TO SCIEN SAYING SOMETHING NICE??? MY BRAIN IS SO NOT HERE TODAY!!! but diluc doesn't verbally respond either, though his expression softens a bit. he can't fully appreciate those words right now as he is, but they do resonate in a way he can't quite grasp. ]
...I'll take your word for it.
[ though, his brow knits again as the first comment stirs another memory. one that should be recent, but feels like lifetimes ago in his current state. ]
...'The main components of a person are their personality and their memories, and how the two intertwine with one another'.
[ pretend i didn't just c/p that. ]
Do these false memories make me less myself, then?
[ sorry to drag you into philosophical discussion on a friday evening idk what i am doing with my life anymore dana 🥹 ]
no subject
...You lived there.
[ he's getting drawn away from their present conversation, though at the same time a bit more of his actual memories return. ]
no subject
That was mine and Dahut's home: Arpéchéle, the country beloved by death.
Most people don't believe me when I say it's a hellhole full of impossible people, but perhaps you understand better now.
no subject
[ another name that rings a bell. ]
...I should remember, then. Some of it, at least.
[ if it's important to them, then it feels important that he understands. ]
no subject
... I wouldn't wish it upon you.
That experience... it is not reflective of each and every moment in Arpéchéle... but I am also not surprised to see those types of things happen within its borders.
You saw some of the worst of it.
no subject
Would you rather I look away? I don't feel the need to.
[ though, it's easier said than done when he feels like his sanity is constantly fraying with each inexplicable episode. he pauses again, momentarily trapped in another recollection. ]
...These false memories will fade.
[ that's what scien said just now, anyway. ]
no subject
I don't believe in unnecessary suffering.
[carrying these memories, falsely constructed as they are, seem to be exactly that]
But I also won't take something from you unless asked.
no subject
Why do you seek to help me?
[ he's curious because he can't clearly remember scien in his entirety, with everything else in the way.
but he remembers enough to ask, ]
...Did you have to experience this as well?
[ unnecessary suffering. ]
no subject
[scien is the first person to call himself evil, after all. every negative trait he knows he has as a fact, and then some
as for why he seeks to help... his answer takes a moment to come. maybe normally he'd be a bit more guarded. straightforward, but not quite so... sentimental.
but there is an emptiness in his chest that normally isn't there]
... you are a good man. Even in the ways you aren't, I find you worthwhile.
I do not need reason more than that.
no subject
...I'll take your word for it.
[ though, his brow knits again as the first comment stirs another memory. one that should be recent, but feels like lifetimes ago in his current state. ]
...'The main components of a person are their personality and their memories, and how the two intertwine with one another'.
[ pretend i didn't just c/p that. ]
Do these false memories make me less myself, then?
[ sorry to drag you into philosophical discussion on a friday evening idk what i am doing with my life anymore dana 🥹 ]
no subject
scien looks thoughtful at that, wondering.]
... I don't know. It depends on, when they clear, how much you will accept them as a part of you, I suppose.
I believe that they're a confounding variable, something introduced that is foreign to you and not what you should be judged on.
But if you choose to accept them later... that is a choice that your true self makes, and that is part of you.