though diluc IMMEDIATELY pulls a face when he sees the machine. his expression eases when he sees scien, however, and he nods. ]
I have. Thanks for bearing with me.
[ sometimes your brain is SO scrambled from cyoa and you inadvertently make it everyone else's problem. his expression shifts once more to concern, because thursday! sure was A Time!!! ]
I have a new problem [makes a vague gesture to his now missing left arm] but I was never going to be as devastated by the knowledge of my own country as you all.
[sometimes you're already kind of aware of what a hellpit it is?]
Then I won't offer to edit your memories as needed, unless there is something you truly wish to do away with.
So you do. [ SCIEN YOUR ARM... AGAIN... diluc reaches out to touch his empty sleeve, brow furrowed in concern. ] It must be inconvenient.
...It wasn't just that. [ his expression is a little wry, if not pensive. arpechele sucked but what's worse is he had to watch the people he cares about murder each other in cage matches. (and he'd been too mentally fucked up afterwards to really process or address it, but. at least they are all pros here at compartmentalizing.) ]
...I could do without the memories of being wed to Eula.
[ HE IS JOKING and quickly waves his hand to get that across. ]
I jest. ...Most of it just feels like a strange dream. Is it the same for you?
[it's part of getting the machine fired up again... though he tilts his head at the question. a dream...]
... perhaps. It is a view of who I could have been, if born into a different station. If made into a would-be prince or revolutionary, rather than a genius made into a god.
[he tilts his head]
Oddly enough, I find I dislike that version of myself.
In a way. From what I understand, since we were made of memory, so I used a memory machine to edit myself into forgetting that I lost my arm. [a beat] I still don't remember losing it, but I can guess when it happened.
[that next question though... he looks thoughtful]
I suppose. To be a person, and not a god. A human, and not an observer. Aware of my own biases...
And yet knowing that I am still sooner defined my goals than my personal attachments.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
though diluc IMMEDIATELY pulls a face when he sees the machine. his expression eases when he sees scien, however, and he nods. ]
I have. Thanks for bearing with me.
[ sometimes your brain is SO scrambled from cyoa and you inadvertently make it everyone else's problem. his expression shifts once more to concern, because thursday! sure was A Time!!! ]
And you? Are you fully recovered?
no subject
[sometimes you're already kind of aware of what a hellpit it is?]
Then I won't offer to edit your memories as needed, unless there is something you truly wish to do away with.
no subject
...It wasn't just that. [ his expression is a little wry, if not pensive. arpechele sucked but what's worse is he had to watch the people he cares about murder each other in cage matches. (and he'd been too mentally fucked up afterwards to really process or address it, but. at least they are all pros here at compartmentalizing.) ]
...I could do without the memories of being wed to Eula.
[ HE IS JOKING and quickly waves his hand to get that across. ]
I jest. ...Most of it just feels like a strange dream. Is it the same for you?
no subject
[it's part of getting the machine fired up again... though he tilts his head at the question. a dream...]
... perhaps. It is a view of who I could have been, if born into a different station. If made into a would-be prince or revolutionary, rather than a genius made into a god.
[he tilts his head]
Oddly enough, I find I dislike that version of myself.
[when he has perfectly good self-esteem rn??]
no subject
...This machine. [ HE'S JUST LIKE. THIS BINCH! ] Did you use something similar to run the experiment you did a couple weeks back?
[ diluc arrived in the gy right after the fact, but. ]
Hmm. [ curious. ] Are you at peace with who you are, now?
no subject
[that next question though... he looks thoughtful]
I suppose. To be a person, and not a god. A human, and not an observer. Aware of my own biases...
And yet knowing that I am still sooner defined my goals than my personal attachments.