[ sweet dana he is ALLOWED TO LEAVE please nodd is not friend-shaped that is acceptable (but also what if he didn't?) ]
No. I don't think it's something that can be fixed.
[ hums ]
I get it, you know. Why you don't like me. You think I don't try. That I give up too quick. When, to me, I've tried so many times in my life I've got good at determining when nothing I do will matter. You don't like when someone falls into the flow and I'm a favorite of the undertow. Does that sound right?
[NOOOOOOO I WANT MY SAE THREADS STAPLES SCIEN HERE
but also he's listening and there is no emotionshare but there is a ? feeling]
No.
I don't like most people. [he also doesn't like most people. about 80% of people fall in a 'true neutral' kind of range]
My irritation with you is that you were disrespectful and ignored the will of others in your own emotional rampage. Normally I wouldn't care, but you had a few bad targets.
[ listening intently. emotional rampage, huh? scratching jaw and considering the middle distance. scien himself is better not to look at directly. let him exist in the periphery. ]
Well, feedback noted. Best case scenario it won't come up again.
[ take your favorites. nodd isn't interested in any tug of war. ]
[ a big sigh. he's not going to pour his heart out to scien don't worry. but nodd is aware he's been acting odd and it's not right to leave the sociopath confused ]
It's been a long time since I felt a desire for other people and that used to be a bad vice of mine. I'm reconciling. It happens when you... feel strongly when feeling comes along. Some people--me people--lose all reason.
[he doesn't mean it maliciously - only objectively. scien is well aware that he has extremely low tolerance for outbursts of emotion of any sort, whether it be love or hatred or any combination of the two.]
[ ew, at least be young and hot. stupid relivers. ]
Oh, you'll love this. Let's see.
[ leaning back in his seat but then ticking things off on his fingers as he recites them. ]
Feedback is--'I wish I could give you what you deserve.' And 'you are worthy' and 'I want to be your friend.' These sound great, but let's be honest. I'd rather hear 'it's too much with you' or 'I have better options' or something that resembles the truth. But you can't say that. It's a whole other conversation if you argue with the 'no' you're given.
[it's hard to say that scien loves this. he doesn't actually enjoy people's misery, even if he does err on the side of very, very petty.
but this annoys him for a different reason.]
People should just admit that the match isn't right. Platitudes are a waste of time.
[he can absolutely hear dion saying some of this, though he doesn't know what other rejection nodd might've given. but scien just isn't the type of person to handle anyone with kid gloves]
[ well, they agree on a few things, even if those things don't agree back.
nodd shuts his eyes for a moment. he's far away. on a mountain. in a forest. surrounded by lilac light. eyes open and he's stuck in this big tin can again. ]
I'm just tired now. It's a good thing we're at the end.
[ a note of amusement in there before nodd goes back to casually disassociating. this is a decent note for them to end things on. they truly were never going to get along. that's all right. ]
I'll enjoy my lover, and tolerate that he's sort of a prince.
[scien hates royals so bad. but he'll raise a hand in farewell and walk off, now completing the promise that they will probably never see each other again. but at least it's not ending with a curse or nearly as much agitation this time. drugs are magic.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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no disgust or discomfort this time. scien is fine. humanized by certain public activities. ]
Yes, but also no, that's not the problem. My tolerance is back to normal with powers returned--it's not an issue.
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but,]
What is your problem. Is it medical.
[if it's not scien is thinking of leaving but i will find a way to keep him here so help me]
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No. I don't think it's something that can be fixed.
[ hums ]
I get it, you know. Why you don't like me. You think I don't try. That I give up too quick. When, to me, I've tried so many times in my life I've got good at determining when nothing I do will matter. You don't like when someone falls into the flow and I'm a favorite of the undertow. Does that sound right?
no subject
but also he's listening and there is no emotionshare but there is a ? feeling]
No.
I don't like most people. [he also doesn't like most people. about 80% of people fall in a 'true neutral' kind of range]
My irritation with you is that you were disrespectful and ignored the will of others in your own emotional rampage. Normally I wouldn't care, but you had a few bad targets.
[people that scien was even slightly fond of]
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[ listening intently. emotional rampage, huh? scratching jaw and considering the middle distance. scien himself is better not to look at directly. let him exist in the periphery. ]
Well, feedback noted. Best case scenario it won't come up again.
[ take your favorites. nodd isn't interested in any tug of war. ]
Worst case--I still don't see it coming up again.
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What happened to you.
Why are you so mild.
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[ as a monk, making friends and influencing people were never part of the gameplan. the murdergame lifestyle has cause him to reconsider. ]
It's late, but I can't do anything about that.
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So what? It's eight weeks. Some people don't do anything right for eight years. Eight decades.
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[ a big sigh. he's not going to pour his heart out to scien don't worry. but nodd is aware he's been acting odd and it's not right to leave the sociopath confused ]
It's been a long time since I felt a desire for other people and that used to be a bad vice of mine. I'm reconciling. It happens when you... feel strongly when feeling comes along. Some people--me people--lose all reason.
no subject
[he doesn't mean it maliciously - only objectively. scien is well aware that he has extremely low tolerance for outbursts of emotion of any sort, whether it be love or hatred or any combination of the two.]
So... what. Too many rejections?
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[ and why toxic yaoi could have occurred but simply did not have the opportunity (sae copeium). ]
Mm. It's quality not quantity, kid. But the quantity is worrying, sure.
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[very simply,]
Then you should be taking in the feedback from those individuals, not me.
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Oh, you'll love this. Let's see.
[ leaning back in his seat but then ticking things off on his fingers as he recites them. ]
Feedback is--'I wish I could give you what you deserve.' And 'you are worthy' and 'I want to be your friend.' These sound great, but let's be honest. I'd rather hear 'it's too much with you' or 'I have better options' or something that resembles the truth. But you can't say that. It's a whole other conversation if you argue with the 'no' you're given.
[ thus: let's zonk out and wait for the end ]
no subject
but this annoys him for a different reason.]
People should just admit that the match isn't right. Platitudes are a waste of time.
[he can absolutely hear dion saying some of this, though he doesn't know what other rejection nodd might've given. but scien just isn't the type of person to handle anyone with kid gloves]
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[ well, they agree on a few things, even if those things don't agree back.
nodd shuts his eyes for a moment. he's far away. on a mountain. in a forest. surrounded by lilac light. eyes open and he's stuck in this big tin can again. ]
I'm just tired now. It's a good thing we're at the end.
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but he rolls his eyes]
Then enjoy your tired and your soul searching. Maybe you'll find something worthwhile.
[if he's not in medical harm, scien will leave him be]
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[ a note of amusement in there before nodd goes back to casually disassociating. this is a decent note for them to end things on. they truly were never going to get along. that's all right. ]
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[scien hates royals so bad. but he'll raise a hand in farewell and walk off, now completing the promise that they will probably never see each other again. but at least it's not ending with a curse or nearly as much agitation this time. drugs are magic.]