but scien will be actually found in the gardens instead of any lab! he's found something comfy to wear, and his hair is down and damp again—but at least it's not because he drowned. a blanket is already settled on his shoulders (thanks dahut) and in his sweater pawed hand he has a mug of hot cocoa.....
his gaze fixates on a particular patch of flowers, as if searching for something among them. when he hears footsteps, this time he actually turns his head.]
[sweet diluc your memories are so jumbled it's insane. scien does remember that life, but to be a royal is so disgusting to him that he refuses to process it]
... you are remembering moments that aren't truly yours. Probably.
[maybe diluc was het idk scien won't know that info]
It is partially my technology to blame for all this.
[he'll tear his eyes away from the patch of flowers he was staring at - lycoris, not unlike the book that diluc found in the royal family library though these are bright red not black - and tapping his finger against diluc's forehead]
I would alter your memory data.
Unless you wish to keep all of it, even that which is false, until it fades away.
That experience... it is not reflective of each and every moment in Arpéchéle... but I am also not surprised to see those types of things happen within its borders.
Would you rather I look away? I don't feel the need to.
[ though, it's easier said than done when he feels like his sanity is constantly fraying with each inexplicable episode. he pauses again, momentarily trapped in another recollection. ]
I do not suffer. But what hardship I experience is earned.
[scien is the first person to call himself evil, after all. every negative trait he knows he has as a fact, and then some
as for why he seeks to help... his answer takes a moment to come. maybe normally he'd be a bit more guarded. straightforward, but not quite so... sentimental.
but there is an emptiness in his chest that normally isn't there]
... you are a good man. Even in the ways you aren't, I find you worthwhile.
[ FORGETS TO RESPOND TO SCIEN SAYING SOMETHING NICE??? MY BRAIN IS SO NOT HERE TODAY!!! but diluc doesn't verbally respond either, though his expression softens a bit. he can't fully appreciate those words right now as he is, but they do resonate in a way he can't quite grasp. ]
...I'll take your word for it.
[ though, his brow knits again as the first comment stirs another memory. one that should be recent, but feels like lifetimes ago in his current state. ]
...'The main components of a person are their personality and their memories, and how the two intertwine with one another'.
[ pretend i didn't just c/p that. ]
Do these false memories make me less myself, then?
[ sorry to drag you into philosophical discussion on a friday evening idk what i am doing with my life anymore dana 🥹 ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
week 6, thursday
but scien will be actually found in the gardens instead of any lab! he's found something comfy to wear, and his hair is down and damp again—but at least it's not because he drowned. a blanket is already settled on his shoulders (thanks dahut) and in his sweater pawed hand he has a mug of hot cocoa.....
his gaze fixates on a particular patch of flowers, as if searching for something among them. when he hears footsteps, this time he actually turns his head.]
... Ragnvindr. Are you whole?
[going to arpechele is. a lot.]
no subject
...It's Lawrence.
[ fukken help. ]
no subject
scien just looks out into the flowers before pinching the bridge of his nose]
... do you want me to fix your memories.
no subject
Does it need fixing?
[ but, hmm. scien feels familiar in a way that he can't quite place... ]
...What are you scheming this time.
no subject
[sweet diluc your memories are so jumbled it's insane. scien does remember that life, but to be a royal is so disgusting to him that he refuses to process it]
... you are remembering moments that aren't truly yours. Probably.
[maybe diluc was het idk scien won't know that info]
no subject
he feels he probably can trust scien (even if he's a member of the royal family).
(no, he isn't.)
(?) ]
...How can you fix them.
no subject
[he'll tear his eyes away from the patch of flowers he was staring at - lycoris, not unlike the book that diluc found in the royal family library though these are bright red not black - and tapping his finger against diluc's forehead]
I would alter your memory data.
Unless you wish to keep all of it, even that which is false, until it fades away.
no subject
another memory unfolds. a childhood friend tumbling into dark waters, lost under the waves. ]
...And you'd know which ones to keep.
[ he glances over to the flowers scien had been staring at, and belatedly lets go of his hand. ]
no subject
Not all of them in detail. But at least the ones that belong to Arpéchéle... I can remove those.
I would not curse anyone with being from that country if they were not already.
[scien wants to save it but also he knows it's a hellhole]
no subject
...You lived there.
[ he's getting drawn away from their present conversation, though at the same time a bit more of his actual memories return. ]
no subject
That was mine and Dahut's home: Arpéchéle, the country beloved by death.
Most people don't believe me when I say it's a hellhole full of impossible people, but perhaps you understand better now.
no subject
[ another name that rings a bell. ]
...I should remember, then. Some of it, at least.
[ if it's important to them, then it feels important that he understands. ]
no subject
... I wouldn't wish it upon you.
That experience... it is not reflective of each and every moment in Arpéchéle... but I am also not surprised to see those types of things happen within its borders.
You saw some of the worst of it.
no subject
Would you rather I look away? I don't feel the need to.
[ though, it's easier said than done when he feels like his sanity is constantly fraying with each inexplicable episode. he pauses again, momentarily trapped in another recollection. ]
...These false memories will fade.
[ that's what scien said just now, anyway. ]
no subject
I don't believe in unnecessary suffering.
[carrying these memories, falsely constructed as they are, seem to be exactly that]
But I also won't take something from you unless asked.
no subject
Why do you seek to help me?
[ he's curious because he can't clearly remember scien in his entirety, with everything else in the way.
but he remembers enough to ask, ]
...Did you have to experience this as well?
[ unnecessary suffering. ]
no subject
[scien is the first person to call himself evil, after all. every negative trait he knows he has as a fact, and then some
as for why he seeks to help... his answer takes a moment to come. maybe normally he'd be a bit more guarded. straightforward, but not quite so... sentimental.
but there is an emptiness in his chest that normally isn't there]
... you are a good man. Even in the ways you aren't, I find you worthwhile.
I do not need reason more than that.
no subject
...I'll take your word for it.
[ though, his brow knits again as the first comment stirs another memory. one that should be recent, but feels like lifetimes ago in his current state. ]
...'The main components of a person are their personality and their memories, and how the two intertwine with one another'.
[ pretend i didn't just c/p that. ]
Do these false memories make me less myself, then?
[ sorry to drag you into philosophical discussion on a friday evening idk what i am doing with my life anymore dana 🥹 ]
no subject
scien looks thoughtful at that, wondering.]
... I don't know. It depends on, when they clear, how much you will accept them as a part of you, I suppose.
I believe that they're a confounding variable, something introduced that is foreign to you and not what you should be judged on.
But if you choose to accept them later... that is a choice that your true self makes, and that is part of you.