shouxue my beloved

[egodist]

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[ravenry]

If that is what will grant you peace in death, I will ensure it.

[ not that she knows she probably can't do anything post-execution but her intention is sincere. ]

[egodist]

Have Dahut's remains turned to ash as well.

I've tasked the fish man and the liar—Eunhyuk with the same.

[ravenry]

The liar?

[ that's some nickname. ]

I will see to it. Is there anything else? What would leave you with the least regrets?

[ at this point, she doesn't think he'll have no regrets, but.... as few as possible.... ]

[egodist]

Everyone seems to ignore when 'lying' is on someone's profile.

[that said,]

After what I have done, I deserve to take my regrets and choke on them.

[well alrighty then]

[ravenry]

It is on more than one.

[ she assumes most people lie. she just didn't know if eunhyuk made an egregious lie to scien in particular.

anyway, that's fine. those are words that she accepts from scien. ]

You may be right, but with the amount of care Dahut gave you, I don't know if that would help him—even if you are the reason he is dead.

[egodist]

[ . . .

for a long moment, he is quiet.]

He'll understand why I've chosen it. I tend not to bend for him, and this will be no different.

Sometimes, he would be too eager to sacrifice himself for the sake of other people. I think that's foolish. However... I also think that the least I can do is borrow a page out of his book.

[ravenry]

You are both fools.

[ it is said imperiously but without any harshness behind it. ]

And you both are the sort who'd cause trouble even in death, so I would prefer if you both found peace in the afterlife instead of haunted people with the regrets you want to choke on.

[egodist]

It's best to know that your hopes are unreasonable early on.

If an afterlife exists, I will probably be burning in Hades into eternity.

[ravenry]

It is not a hope. I would not hope when it comes to someone like you.

[ she can be stupid, but she isn't that kind of stupid. ]

But you do not deserve to be lost.

[egodist]

[there is a flicker of amusement - twisted, a bit cruel]

You know nothing of what I deserve.

[ravenry]

For whatever you've done in life, I do not.

[ so maybe he deserves to have his life ended after murdering someone who's been close to him for so long. maybe that's right for him. she isn't here to judge that. she could hate him for any atrocities he's done, but she isn't focused on that right now. ]

But for what may happen in death? I know more than most, but that may be where our worlds diverge.

[egodist]

It may be. Regardless, I'm not worried about whatever awaits me after this.

If someone takes the risks I do without anticipating eternal damnation or death, then they shouldn't have embarked on the journey for knowledge to begin with.

[sometimes you just need to choose to be the devil for your greater goals]

[ravenry]

Suffering is for the living.

[ if he wants to receive what he deserves, living is more suitable. ]

If that is where you stand, that is all I need.

[ she just thinks he'd be the biggest annoyance if he became a ghost instead of reaching the afterlife. ]

[egodist]

[he would be yea!!!]

Then take what information you've gleaned back and share with the others. I only expect it to get worse from here.

[ravenry]

I doubt it will get better as well.

[ the pessimism is real. ]

I don't hide what doesn't need to be hidden.

[egodist]

I'm relying on that, though I believe even my own logic ought to be taken with a grain of salt here.

[ravenry]

[ that gets a small blip of surprise. ]

... I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised, considered what has happened. You must be affected to say such a thing.

[egodist]

I know my mind well, having been left with it for so long.

[and that lost feeling comes back, as if set adrift]

I can recognize its anomalies and lapses better than almost anyone else.

[the other who could understand is dead now]

[ravenry]

[ she won't respond verbally to his thought, but her emotions do. there is faint kind of sad understanding. ]

It's not unnerving that you can no longer trust yourself as much?

[egodist]

Of course it is.

To me, that means I am no longer Scien Brofiise.